Thursday, 4 April 2013

Really, don't call me baby.

Being on a dating website has helped me really realise something. It's a little unsurprising to those people who know me but I am actually getting angry about it. Ok, here goes.
I hate pet names.
This isn't so arbitrary that I hate it when my friends call each other cherry-pie and similar, they're my friends, they know me very well indeed, we have a habit of making up the most ridiculous ones possible ("How're are you today my apple strudle?") they're usually dessert related too, which is funny. 
Also not included is in shops, a sales assistant/cashier calling you 'love' isn't really a pet name it's more a substitution for the words "You're a pain in the arse and I hate you, stop making a fucking fuss" or thoughts to that effect. I'm guilty of this myself when serving a particularly irritating person I make a point of being as super helpful and irritatingly chirpy just to slowly drive them insane. But this also means I understand when someone in a shop does it, I don't hate them for it. 
he (Lee) used to call me Miss _________  using my surname which I quite like because it was genuinely affectionate and just a little bit naughty.
But..oh but, the messages I get on this website plus normal communication with people I don't really know I get called sweetie, cutie, honey. If any of them knew me they wouldn't call me that - because I'm none of those things. I'm grumpy, vain, selfish and inconstant. Bitch would be a better pet name, although I'd be pretty pissed at that too.
Before I would just ignore it, pretend they weren't assuming they could use terms of affection with me but now I'm calling people out on it. They seem confused, one even stupidly told my he was doing it to be 'different', no pal, you're not being different you're being just like everyone else. You're being stupid, unimaginative, overly friendly and frankly assuming that because I'm on a dating website I'm desperate for love and affection. I'm not, I just like going on dates.
In discussion with the fabulous GG our motto for dating would be "turn up, eat everything, fuck off" I stand by this.
I think I remember wrestler calling me baby once, but it wasn't really as a pet name he'd probably just forgotten my real name for a moment. I called him out on it either way.
So seriously, unless it's a pet name that's actually  come out of knowing me. Really.
Really. Don't call me baby.

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