I've got a 1920's chin.

I often look at other people and wonder why they resemble lots of other people. I don't. I've spent occasional, intense periods of time trying to work out who if anyone outside of my immediate family I resemble. 
Myself, my two older sisters and my mum all look very similar - especially when we're all smiling (we all have exactly the same smile.)
However, my friend once told me I reminded of a silent movie actress and it took us ages to remember her name, it should have been easier - she was killed by the mob (allegedly)
Thelma Todd was mysteriously found dead of carbon monoxide poisoning in her car in a locked garage. 

Here she is, in some pretty soft focus, with lovely long hair that I could only dream of. And a rather nice frock
In pictures such as this one I can see some similarities  between my features and hers although I think it's largely down to face shape and feature spacing. 
In the smaller picture too I see my daft grin although I'd love to be able to give those doe-eyes.



I draw more links between myself and Clara Bow-who was the original "It Girl" she hennaed her hair and had the most lovely shaped lips I've ever seen. Clara Bow was a bit crazy and had all sorts of scandalous things linked to her, she was the original 'her and the whole of the football team' lady!  Accused of such outrageous acts as exhibitionism and lesbianism she seemed to go a little crazy and retired from public life in the 1930's.


I love this picture in particular, and I'm  fairly sure I've pulled that face on a number of occasions.
What both of these actress' have in common seems to be a very particular 1920's face shape and chin. Which would explain why none of today's actresses have a similar look (just not fashionable) which leads me to believe I was born around 100 years too late.
As I'm going through this period of re-invention, my hair is back to a natural colour and reasonable length I'm considering making a concious decision what style route to take next. I'm thinking 1920's bob that can be super smooth and pointy around the face or cute and curly like the classic finger curls on the pictures I've already shown.

 Basically I want to look like this. But still like myself.

Richey Edwards

So I've just mentioned Richey Edwards to the Poetess . She didn't know who he was, so I wikipedia linked her to him. This could be the start of something truly beautiful because I can't think of anyone more perfect to introduce to her. I think she'll love him. It's something we should all go through.  

Of course in the evolution of the female Manics fan I've reached the stage where I fancy James Dean Bradfield but I still think he was an amazing man. 
And any guy that can apply eyeliner that well should get a fucking medal. 
Anyway she asked me the inevitable question of whether I think he's vanished or dead. My honest answer is that he probably did commit suicide, but I hope Hope that he's alive somewhere and happy. It's all you can hope for another human being sometimes.

My top 5 films

Just a quick post tonight. My top 5 films.
1) A Life Less Ordinary
2) A Streetcar Named Desire
3) Gangster No1
4) Inglorious Basterds
5) Withnail and I
It's in no particular order, and I don't claim to be particularly knowledgeable about films but these five I can always watch again.

I am a Manic Street Preachers fan

I love the Manic Street Preachers.

From www.thisisyesterday.com

I know it isn't particularly cool, but I can honestly say that no band makes me as utterly happy as this one does. Few people do!
 Whether it's when I am feeling grim and full of angsty hate and I listen to Faster (I am, stronger than MENSA..) with a smug bitch of a smile on my face or I'm listening to Masses Against the Classes and I get all left-y and powerful or Small Black Flowers and I think of Arno and the snow of Somero. 
There are so many things I would have never done without this band. Some of my favourite books I would have never read, I would have never visited Auschwitz, I wouldn't have deliberately and publicly smeared salt into a cut just to piss off someone that thought they knew best. I definitely would never have developed my whole attitude and outlook on life the way I have with out this band.  

From www.thisisyesterday.com

I've met some amazing people through them too, my much missed friend and partner in naughtiness Jenny, bloo, Arno and even the Wrestler shares some interest. There is an automatic affinity between fans because it's so rare to find someone that goes "oh man, me too" When you declare you love a band that are still going after 20+ years, the loss of a member and the album Lifeblood. 
I have a cheap plectrum style necklace with Manic Street Preachers printed on there which I often wear to work and sometimes it gets commented  on by customers as I pop them through the till, my favourite ever being " Oh, you like the Manics? I thought you were all cheerful here!" I have to admit I had a good long laugh at that one for days. 
I've seen the boys 6 or more times now and they're currently coming to the end of a break from performing live in the UK, cannot wait for them to get out and about again so I can immediately spend all my money on tickets. These days I am more comfortable about going to a gig alone if I have no one to take along with me. Nevertheless, it would be lovely to have company.
It's always lovely to go to a gig with someone else that loves the band.

Fictional characters I've fallen in love with.

As you may have noticed if you've read any of my previous posts- I'm sort of doomed when it comes to finding someone that I absolutely adore who actually feels the same way about me. I don't think this is unusual in any respects, we're now on a third (or fourth, depending on how you count it) generation of people who grew up watching Disney films. As we all know, they're terrible for your ideas of love. 

Hell, my favourite Disney film love moment is two squirrels chasing each other around a tree (notice that she's chasing him....) 

But something I do quite regularly is fall in love with characters in the books I read, to the point that I think about them for days. Since there are real life actual people that I've been in love with that I can easily go weeks without thinking about, or hours in the case of him this can cause a few real problems.

1. I've never met these characters
2. I only know what the author has give me as information
3. Mostly they look how I interpret the descriptions
4. They're just not real.

The first time I recall this happening is when I read Primo Levi's If Not Now, When? on holiday in Gran Canaria when I was about 14. I had recently got very into the Manic Street Preachers and was very deeply busy being a massive stereotype. One good thing about being a manicsfan (offically all one word) is that you get a pretty impressive reading list! 

The main character in this book is called Mendel, he's a Russian Jewish partisan fighting in the woodlands against the Nazis. He'd been a watchmaker before the war and his wife was killed.

So fairly inappropriate for me to fall in love with this character. However, he's just so human. Methodical, contradictory and scared that I found myself a little jealous when he sneaks off into the woods with partisan women. 

Another strange one is Sam Vimes from the Discworld novels. For those of you that don't know, Sam Vimes is a film noir style, old fashioned cop. Captain of the Ankh Morpork City Guards, ex-alcoholic and in the more recent books happily married and a Duke. My first introduction to him was in Feet of Clay my first Discworld novel that didn't feature Rincewind where at length he solves some crimes by resisting booze and prodding buttock. He's dirty, unshaven, kind of old, but generally quite loveable. He cares for people and hates authority. So it isn't an unsurprising attraction. Nobby Nobbs would definitely be more difficult to understand.

Patrick Bateman. I'm not going into it. I know it's just wrong. American Psycho if you don't recognise the name. 

Captain Yossarian from Catch-22 . I finally read this one only last year, after much encouragement from my Dad who repeatedly told me he'd only ever "got about 30 pages in before I decided against it" I'm pleased I did because Yossarian is just a delight to read, he's such a flawed character and totally bent on his own survival you just cannot help love him. He might be a little bit crazy but that's all part of catch-22 itself. You can't fly a plane if you're crazy, but to fly the missions you've got to be crazy. He's so callous towards but consistently believes himself to be in love with the women he encounters. 

There's others- Aramis from The Three Musketeers  is another one. I'm sure I'll think of more and write a second post on it soon.

I don't like pink.

No, not the slightly butch American girl-power singer.
The colour. Sort of the colour.
This is the first of my 'proper' posts. The others have all be melodramatic moaning about my life. 
So, yes let's get it out of the way - as you can see from my profile picture my hair is pink. That doesn't mean that I automatically <3 pink.
 What it actually means is that when I am intellectually stagnant I do stupid stuff - usually to my hair. 
Occasionally when I'm at work, trying to persuade actual grown ups that a blue robot bath ballistic won't turn their precious princess into a lesbian, I say "some girls don't even like pink - I don't!" I just see their faces go blank as they look at my hair. I have no answer to this other than pink hair suits me better than blue or green or red and I've had purple hair before so I don't want a repeat of that. 
It of course, happens the other way around when little boys want the sweet pink bath ballistic with love hearts inside mums will bat them away going "no, that one's for little girls." No, it isn't. It is for anyone that wants it. The colour of your bathwater doesn't mean anything. I have gone so far as to say just that to people because I am fed up of listening to real adults restrict their kids from something because of it's colour. 

I had a similar flap recently when mooching aimlessly around Wilkinsons I came across a PINK tool set, for GURLS obviously. 
Right, retailers shall we get this straight? 
Women do not need a gendered hammer, it's a blunt instrument for whacking nails into walls/furniture or errant partners around the head (joke) I don't need a screwdriver to be pink when I am trying to affix a shelf to the wall. It's nonsense. Possibly nonsense put together by a man who thinks that buying his wife/girlfriend/whatever a pink tool set means that she'll help out with the DIY. 
I actually have a small set of tools, I live alone and I don't want to have to call my dad every time a bulb blows. They aren't pink and it makes me no less of a woman to use tools that aren't pink. But still whenever I've had to have someone come into my little home to help fix the boiler or the sink they ask "I don't suppose you have any tools? Do you?" And look genuinely shocked when I produce a selection from the kitchen drawer.

As I kid I played with Barbie, usually dangling her naked out of my bedroom window to scare one of my sisters in the kitchen below, I also played with LEGO. I built castles and huge towering thrones for the tiny LEGO people to sit on and oppress their fellow people (tiny dictator in the making.) I had a little play kitchen and chop up food (anyone else remember that, with velcro holding the pieces together?) And I played football with the next door neighbours. Kids should be allowed to play at what they want, not just what we deem suitable for their gender. Would Marie Curie have played with radioactive material if she'd stuck to female pastimes? Would Queen Victoria have been Empress of India if she'd allowed Albert to rule for her? There are hundreds, if not thousands of other examples I'm certain - can we forget all this ancient modern gender nonsense?

Virgo with Scorpio ascending

So the poetess has worked out the sign that is my ascendant with my star sign. Look at what it says I am like

Your psychological nature is bilious with aggressive impulses that spur the transformation of your being and of any situation you are involved in. You are constantly struggling to assert yourself. You cannot refrain from testing others with cutting remarks, not because you want to hurt them, but because you want to know them better through their reaction; life and the feeling of aliveness are experienced through rebellion and tension. Your aggressive attitude may equate with sly inquisition as often, you remain silent, introverted and secretive, mulling over turbulent thoughts in the depths of your mind, leaving others puzzled by your quite strange behaviour.
With this Ascendant, you come across as secretive, powerful, dominating, enduring, intuitive, assertive, charismatic, magnetic, wilful, daring, clear-sighted, passionate, creative, independent, vigorous, generous, loyal, hard-working, persevering, indomitable, possessive, shrewd, stubborn, ambitious, instinctive, tenacious, sexual, sexy, proud, intense and competitive. But you may also be aggressive, destructive, stubborn, anxious, tyrannical, perverse, sadistic, violent, self-centered, complex, critical, cruel, nasty, jealous, calculating, vulnerable and dissembling.

Hilarious and true. 
Damn.